We see a guy staring at his face in a mirror. He picks up a knife calmly and begins to disfigure his own face, gently slashing across his cheeks and forehead. As he does this, he does not flinch, there is no sound, no sign of pain, almost like an operation. Everything in the room is spotless and clean except for the blood. The camera closes in on his eye and a single tear rolls down his cheek. This then cuts to the same guy, and same shot of the eye, but closed and asleep on a bus. He has shopping on his lap, and without scars on his face, peaceful. A teddy bear pokes out of one of the bags. He wakes gently and we realise that the scene before was what he was dreaming. As he continues to wake up, he is not disturbed by what he has dreamt, as if he is used to those images, he wants it to happen. A kid on the bus is staring at him and the teddy bear.

The following are Scenes from my mind, to show how I see and think, which I hope will be a raw, creative and honest portrayal of mental illness, and an unique way of telling my life story from real memories, dreams, nightmares and a good dose of imagination.

The intention of I.D.S.T. is a body of work, a series of vignettes, to try and describe what it is like to go through a psychotic episode, and how that person’s life changes from that point forever.

By exploring the ideas that I came up with during these episodes will help the viewer have a different opinion about mental illness. I don’t want to glorify mental Illness, that is not the idea, I just wish to try and explain the causes, and how the sufferer continues from a personal point of view, rather than a scientific point of view.

I also hope to lower the stigma attached to mental illness, and for the viewer to gain insight into these diseases known as Schizophrenia and Depression.

– For my family, friends, and the real people that have continued to support and help me to keep well.

A project by Matthew Strong
mr.strong@fsmail.net

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